Tootsie Rolls are for the evil!
by EvilGoodGirl
Summary: Voldemort is Harrys daddy!Harrys eating to much Tootsie Rolls!Voldemort is actually a bunny from mars!Lucius is a Duck tryng to steal The Bunny Rabits plans!And worse of all!Spoons are evil!Rons rioting and I've gone insane!Oh,some Dumbledore bashing!


Disclaimer:I own Harry's Personality but the name is completely JK's,why do I own his personality?Because I invented a new one thats insane and matches mine!Now we are matching!

Constance:I didn't now you where insane.

EGG:By the time I grow up to be you I've grown out of,tear.

Dev:Does that mean I am half insane?  
EGG:No,you completely insane,I don't outgrow insanety until the forbidden age!

DEE:Yep!

EGG:Nooooooo!Not-not...Death Eater EGG!I can't believe I grow up to be you!Then Constance!

Dev:Sigh,I hate living here,if you don't start getting over your self EGG and you too DEE I'm going to move to Albakerkee!

EGG:They won't let you move there,you have to know how to spell the name of it,and you misspelled uit,heck even I can't write it,but its sure fun to say!Well on with the story!

Okay,I'm the wierdest person in the world,no,scratch that I'm the wierdest person in universe.Firstly,I can have twenty chocolate frogs and not be able to stay awake at around 10,but I have one Tootsie roll and I'm hyper,which is kinda the reason I'm in this mess,what mess you ask?Well you see my name is Harry Potter,and Dumbledore,the evil manipulative bastard,summoned me to his room of perputalur cheeriness,or at least that's what I'm going to call it now,its just soooo cheery!I mean I'm in Gryffindoor,the perputular coorfulness dorm,but even we have dark red,but not Dumbledore his office is completely and utterly painted white.I hate that room,well anyway I was walking up there when I find a tootsie roll on the ground,well you know how your never supose to eat anything off the floor,well I never learned that in fact I was incouraged(Amazing isn't it,the Dursleys actually encouraged me to do something!) to eat of the floor,and the Tootsie roll was still in its wrapper.So I picked it up and ate it,which is why when I came to Dumbledore's office talking and laughing to myself,I don't quite remeber what I was talking about,I think it was something about bunny rabbits living on mars and Voldemort was actually a bunny rabbit and Spoons where hated Bunny rabits,something like that Oh and there was something about Snape actually being in the BBR,Bloody Bunny Rabits,and was actually against Voldemort because Voldemort was a bunny rabit,well anyway when Dumbledore saw me,it thought I was halluncaniting and had some pioson,so he rushed me to hospital wing only to find I was very very hyper,such fun,and then Madam Pomfry unwittingly gave me a pepper-up potion which caused me to laugh and laugh,well to make long story short I ended up in St.Mugos for three very long hysteria days,oh it was so much fun!

And Hermione and Ron visited,it was funny cause I started talking about Bunny rabits again,and somehow I added Turkeys and antelope.To make another long story short Hermione left crying and Ron had to stay with me because he actually believed it and started a riot against Bunny Rabits,that was the funniest thing EVER!Well anyway evtually they found out I had eaten Tootsie roll and was just very hyper.So I got to go back and so did Ron,boy do Tootsie Rolls have a negative effect on me!

Well anyway Dumbledore took me to his office and yatta yatta some later I found out I was adopted and ole' Lord Vomited drool,(Voldemort!) was my daddy,Oh goody!So I found out I actually wasn't the one who was of the prophecy!Oh and either the Dark Lord takes custody of me and three days or (Cablooeh!)He dies,for real death,and Voldemort found out like three days ago!Well,appernately he's already claimed custody of me and I have to go to my new 'home',oh god I'm going to die.So anyway that is how I ended up on a train headed straight for Spinner's end,about to die,of course I don't knwo I'm going to die,he could want to keep his line going.Or he could kill me after I produce a heir,just for that I'm going to marry a barren woman and I'm going to adopt,and name all me children James and Lily and Sirius just to spite him,oh planning my life is so much fun,espieacelly when it could or could not continue after I meet my father,hmm,I wonder if he'll kill me straight off or let me suffer,maybe if I tell who's the spy he'll let me watch Professor Snape die!Oh,I'm so excited!Since when has torture sound appealing to me,since I found out Voldemort is my daddy!Oha dn I had a tootsie Roll,I'm going to eat so much just to get on his nerves just because he can't kill me!

Wait what I'm doing to my mind,I think my sanity went out the door when the Tootsie roll took effect,First I'm saying I'm going to die then I'm saying he can't kill me!Whats with me today?well the train stopped,I'm walking toward where I know he lives,ohh,I found another Tootsie Roll!I'm sooo gonna freak Voldemort out by Revealng he's really a Bunny Rabit from mars!Well I'm outside the door,I'm walking in and where is the meeting room again,oh yeah down two hallways to the left.I knock,"Enter!"Creepy voice,cool!Maybe I can convince him to teach me how to do that,that would be so cool!Okay I walk i and what di I say,the first thing that comes to mind of course!"Hello Daddy!"Wow that really workes!Voldemort fainted!I caused Voldemort to faint!I'm so going to keep doing that!Okay their pionting their wands at me,their really freaked out,cause I'm Harry Potter I just said Hello Daddy to The Dark Lord,wow this week keeps getting better and better.Well voldemort just came back into consiencnse,He pionte dhis finger downwards,they put their wands away,Okay,he's talking and I probally should be listening but listening to him is no fun,

"Are you even listening?"He demands,wow,h can demand while still having his dark cold voice,I have so got to get him to teach me that,well I better answer him,but what do I say,.well honesty is the best policy!

"No,Frankly your words revolt me and are very boring,if you would please get to what ever piont you are making hurry up,"I raised an eyebrow elequently,"_Daddy_."Oh,I just love saying that,his eye twitched!

"What I am saying you insolent brat is you either learn the dark arts and join me as my heir As in second in command after some proper training,or I kill ou very slowly."

"Well lets see,opinions opinions,well if I join you you have to kill four people I really want dead,_and _I get to watch.Deal?"

"Deal."He is sooooooo mad at me! Oh I just love this,now what happened to my Tootsie roll,aha!

"What is that Potter?"

"My secret weapon to freak you out and you gotta stay along with all your death eaters,cause if you don't your going to be dying of curiousty of what I 'm going to do and your going to force them stay around incase it's dangerous."He huffed and sat down,I start chewing,little can I remember of this,but it involoved me of accusing Voldemort of being a Bunny Rabit and Nagini plotting to eat him,Bunny Rabits coming from mars,Turkies rebeling against forks and spoons hating Bunny Rabits,Severus of being a Bunny Rabit who rebeled and joined the BBR,Yatta Yatta,Lets just say that after awhile all of all of Voldemort's new recruits were convinced he was a Bunny Rabit,and then there came the funniest part,I started saying Lucius was actually a duck from ducks untied,DU,here to still the plans from the Bunny Rabits,after awhile Lucius started to cry and say he was actually a duck from DU here to still the plans of Bunny Rabits!The funniest day of my life,and I only remember bits and pieces,this went on for three days,Lucius had actually turned himself into a duck and was make fack fire calls to some place called Dorks unified,listed as DU in the Floo book so of course Lucius kept calling them,they actually went along with it too!Man,I love Tootsie Rolls,I'm gonna buy a hole bag of them!


End file.
